Approximately 20 years ago, I discovered the joys of sweet coffee. An American explorer trudging across the vast … sidewalks of Monterey.
As I poured an avalanche of sugar into my coffee cup at the Golden West (where now resides a less-personable Denny’s), my eyes perked. My taste buds tingled. This was a gift from God.
Alright, I was an atheist then, so it was probably not so much “God” as “Juan Valdez.” Even so, it was a luxurious ambrosia that snared me. Hook, line, and caffeinated sinker.
Soon after that, Starbucks became as ubiquitous as gas stations, and I stumbled across the chilly bottles of Frappuchinos. Forget the fresh stuff: I was immediately entranced by this elixir that I could grab on a whim and gulp down as if it were water.
What a sweet poison.
It wasn’t actually that long before I knew this stuff was just horrendous for my health. Hundreds of calories of sugar in one go, just for a fleeting taste. A delicious fleeting taste. Was I putting coffee into every cell of my body?
I have tried various times over the years to quit, wanting to eliminate the daily influx of needless calories. Wanting to be the health-conscious guy that I figured I should be. But coffee is sneaky, curling its silky tentacles around you until you’re trapped, and you give in to its embrace.
I came close about a year and a half ago when I decided to start using Splenda, figuring that at least I’d take out the calories. But of course, someone had to find out that fake sugars mess up your body. Gee, thanks, someone. Ignorance was bliss.
So I stopped using the Splenda, but I still heard the (silent) siren call of the Starbucks mermaid. Coffee, she said. It’s your only indulgence. Live a little.
So I was hooked again, predictably. Some people seem capable of moderation, with a spoonful of sugar to help the coffee go down, but I am not like that. A spoon becomes two. Two becomes eight, and then you might as well go back to the bottled stuff with the 30ish grams of sugar.
I overdid it on sugar last December, because holidays. But I decided, before Christmas, that I’d quit sweet coffee completely the day after Christmas. I’d just drink coffee with creamer and somehow kick the habit.
And Somehow decided to come into existence. It took about a week before coffee with just creamer became tasty enough to enjoy, though I wasn’t stingy with my addition of the creamer. Two weeks ago, I decided to drop dairy again for the most part, in my quest to follow a plant-based (not vegan, but similar) diet, and I switched over to unsweetened soy milk.
So here I am. A month later and walking away from a twenty-year addiction to sweet coffee. Whether I decide to go all out and cut coffee itself out of my diet remains to be seen, but it’s not currently a priority. I’ve dropped virtually all sugar as well, and I think it’s because of the death of sweet coffee.
Starbucks, if you are reading this, I’m only half sorry.You were kind to my taste buds, but your drinks are ultimately screwing up too many people. But don’t worry, I’ll still come over.
Medium house coffee, thanks.
4 replies on “The Sweet Coffee Death”
Man, I am so lucky that I like my coffee black and unsweetened tea hot or cold. But I have other indulges that keep tacking weight on me over and over. You know the story. I love Diet Coke and I stopped by replacing to water all day long. I think I drink 1 gallon or 2 gallon and I lost 13lbs so far.
Jess
Love it! Good for you!!!I take mine with cream that’s as sweet as I take it…sometimes, with almond milk or 2%.
Drink it black! It’s the only way to go. 🙂
Drink it black! It’s the only way to go.