I have only left the United States once in my life, to visit Canada. While I’ve definitely got plenty of interest in seeing parts of the world, I don’t have any desire to spend an excessive amount of money to fly over to any of these places by plane. I’m sure this has a lot to do with the fact that it’d have to be a economy seat, and I don’t want to have my legs chopped off at the knees by the seat in front of me.
Give me a First Class seat and it’d all sound more appealing. I think I just need to wait for someone to invent the teleporter.
In the meantime, I’ve seen plenty of gorgeous and memorable places in the United States, enough to know that there’s so much left to explore. So I tend to think about destinations within the US for those someday trips.
But this post wasn’t intended to be about travel. I’ve gotten off track here. I titled the post “Connection” for a reason.
The other day I was walking and I passed by perhaps 25 people. All strangers. Some walking alone, others in pairs, and a few were in small groups. What popped in my head was the complete lack of connection with each person I passed. We didn’t communicate, though we were aware of each other. We did not even make eye contact. On some days, I might feel the courage to smile. On a rare day, I might even say hello as I walked on by, not waiting for an answer. Most of the time, however, I just mind my own business and keep walking.
I know there are people that consider themselves extroverts, who would possibly stop to chat with one or more of these strangers, just out of a desire for connection on some level. The average American person does not seem to be like this, and the introverts are definitely not practicing this habit. I know that in my case, my being deaf contributes to my hesitancy to even try to communicate with someone I am just passing by. An average day has half a dozen or more attempts at communication with the people I can’t avoid: the store clerks, restaurant staff, the ticketsellers at the movie theaters, and more. These are individuals I find myself needing to communicate with on an average day, and it often leads to frustration. So for me to take the time to talk to a stranger I am just passing by is honestly a rare occurrence.
I started to wonder if it used to be different in the US. If it’s different in a lot of countries. I try to imagine walking down a country road in France and passing by someone without a word, and I can’t see that happening. Likely I am influenced by movies, but for some reason it seems in certain countries there must be connections happening all the time between strangers. Somehow anything else just seems wrong. But, I really don’t know, since I don’t travel that much. Canada was fun, but not that different from the US in terms of how strangers related to each other when I witnessed it. If you’re a world traveler, I’m sure you can fill me in.
I know our country is a mess in a lot of ways, and it’s hard for us to trust people we don’t know, but I do wish that our culture was different. I’d like it to be the norm that passersby not only take the time to connect through a brief conversation, but enjoy that conversation.
And yes, selfishly I wish every passersby was fluent in sign language.
What’s been your experience, here and abroad? Would you change anything, if you had the courage?
2 replies on “Connection”
More connection with people would be nice. There’s a lack of trust and everyone is in a rush.
I remember when my wife and i were in Alaska. We went to a supermarket and the cashier said, “how are you,” to my wife. She didn’t respond, so I nudged her and said, “She’s talking to you.” My wife didn’t even realize.
Where we are from strangers don’t talk to other – how quaint.
Sounds like Alaska has got it right, in some ways!