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Your laughs are music to my eyes
The other night I was talking with my daughter, Ladybug, and she laughed at something I said. I forget what, I say lots of silly things and once in a while I get a genuine laugh instead of the groan that follows a Dad Joke (which, by the way, I’ve developed an appreciation for, because although I’m capable of telling clever jokes, lame Dad Jokes have the benefit of annoying your kids). “I love your laugh,” I said. “But Daddy, you can’t hear my laugh.” “I don’t need to. I experience everyone’s laugh through my eyes. I see their laughs, and they’re all unique to me. Yours is an awesome…
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When the deaf community takes over the world!
/////This is TOP SECRET. Do not share.///// Here’s the plan, Stan. World Domination by the Deaf Community (includes EVERY country, not just America) will commence during Deaf Awareness Week this year. It will be swift, requiring only that we hypnotize all non-signers with our native signed languages while staring deeply into their eyes. The key phrase to repeat that will compel all of them to bend to our will is as follows: “Baseball, sidewalk, hot dog, airplane ….forget that! We’re in charge,cool?” Like magic, they will all nod. We will be kind rulers, of course. We will give everyone cupcakes and puppies. From the very first day, we’ll fix deaf…
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I hate LOL but I give up. LOL, you win.
In 1996, when I first started seeing LOL, I LOLed a lot. It was LOL LOL LOL all over the place in chat rooms. LIke every other sentence. I must have thought the world was hilarious. As the years passed, LOL started to annoy me. A lot. I said, “LOL, shut up! Be gone!” and stopped using it. Eventually every LOL I saw started to make me feel practically sick to my stomach and I am not even kidding. I can’t stand them. I hate them so much that if I were President of the United States, I’d want to ban them. That’s right, censorship! I am for free speech…
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Choco Brocco: A review with dismay
Whoever had the gall to conjure up this vile creation that dares call itself a cookie should immediately request an exorcism from the nearest priest. Any will do. I picked up a package of these dubiously-named Choco Brocco cookies thinking it sounded like the most delicious invention in the food world ever. Chocolate and Broccoli? That’s just a winning recipe right there! They are an affront to God. I admit I was lured by the snazzy packaging that had my mouth watering in mere moments. Then my Dad brain kicked into gear and said, “Hey, wait, it’s another way to get some veggies into your kids!” So I popped the…
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Great Gob, Directions, and Jell-O
Dear Goblin, is God so powerful that he can create a boulder too heavy for him to lift? -Cgwatson from Wisconsin Cgwatson- I admit I was puzzled by such a question. At first, I worried that even my slick, triple-lobed goblin mind would not be able to answer it, and I would then have to slink off into some dank cave to weep in shame for the rest of my days. Then I remembered that I am not so intellectually limited as humans, and I had a direct line to Gob himself, the Great and Mighty Mightiness of Goditude. (This Gob being the same God you speak of, of course,…
Writings & Doodles by J. Parrish Lewis
